Parenting

Raising children in today’s world is not the same as it was in previous generations. The distractions are greater, the temptations are stronger, and the challenges of maintaining a Torah home amidst a rapidly changing society can feel overwhelming. A parent looks around and wonders: How do I raise a child who loves Hashem when the outside world seems to be pulling them in every direction? How do I teach my child the beauty of Torah when everything around them tries to make it seem outdated? The answer is both simpler and deeper than we might expect.

The Torah does not change. What worked for Avraham Avinu when he raised Yitzchak, what guided our ancestors in every generation, is still the key to raising children today. But the way in which we apply it requires wisdom. The Mishnah in Avot (2:2) tells us, “Torah together with derech eretz sustains the world.” This means that Torah is not meant to be disconnected from life—it must be woven into the very fabric of our daily experiences. If a child sees Torah as a separate, rigid set of rules that contradicts reality, they may, chas v’shalom, come to resent it. But if they see that Torah is life itself, that it enhances and gives meaning to everything, they will never see it as a burden.

A child in today’s world faces countless influences. The pull of technology is stronger than ever, and if parents do not proactively shape their child’s environment, the world will do it for them. Many parents make the mistake of simply banning everything, thinking that if they remove all outside influence, their child will remain pure. But Torah does not teach us to hide from the world—it teaches us how to navigate it. The goal is not just to protect a child from negative influences but to empower them with the tools to discern between good and bad, to strengthen them so they will choose Torah on their own.

One of the greatest weapons against the dangers of modernity is a home filled with warmth. A child who grows up in a house of simcha, where mitzvot are performed with enthusiasm, where Shabbat is a time of joy and not restriction, will have a strong foundation. When a father learns Torah at the table, when a mother speaks about emunah in a real way, when the home radiates a genuine love for Hashem, a child absorbs that atmosphere. They may be exposed to the outside world, but they will know deep inside where their heart belongs.

At the same time, parents must be realistic. The yetzer hara is clever, and the challenges are real. A child today needs guidance, but they also need to feel understood. The Chazon Ish writes that chinuch is about building—not breaking. When a child makes a mistake, when they struggle, when they push boundaries, the instinct may be to respond with harshness. But a child needs to know that their parents are their safe place. That no matter what, they are loved, that their struggles are recognized, and that their parents believe in them.

Many times, a parent may feel discouraged. They see their child drifting, they worry about negative influences, and they fear they are losing control. But no tefillah goes unanswered. A single tear shed for a child, a heartfelt tefillah whispered in desperation, is never in vain. Hashem sees the efforts of every parent, and He strengthens those who turn to Him.

The Torah does not demand perfection. It demands effort. And in today’s world, the greatest gift a parent can give their child is not just rules and discipline—it is the unshakable knowledge that they are loved, that Torah is their inheritance, and that no matter how turbulent the world may be, their home will always be a source of light.